Fear of the First Confession After a Dissolute Lifestyle

Question to a Priest. SPAS TV, September 17, 2024

Archpriest Alexander Nikolsky

Archpriest Alexander Nikolsky is in the studio.

Viewer question: “I led a vile and dissolute lifestyle, committed many sins with consequences, and I can’t bring myself to confess. It’s scary and disgusting to say this to someone. But I feel that confession is necessary.”

Archpriest Alexander answers:

This, as I understand it, is a woman. You just need to understand that you’re not coming to a priest. You’re coming to God. Not to a priest as God, but to God Himself. And you’re revealing your whole soul to Him. A priest is merely an unworthy witness.

And so many women came to me: escorts, prostitutes, and so on. Bandits – I was a prison chaplain for 16 years. People with a very dissolute lifestyle. And they all said, “How wonderful! How wonderful it is after confession!” Because sins weigh heavily, sins destroy a person from within. And when you’ve taken the right step in this direction—come to God and confess your problems to Him—God surely begins to heal you. This is definitely felt. This is especially felt during the first confessions. After the first confession, after the second, third, fourth—at the very beginning, it’s especially felt, simply by contrast. When a person was sick, and suddenly this strong, aching pain in his soul went away. And you suddenly felt: “yes, a different life.” A different life opens up. And some people say: “I didn’t live before.” People who achieved great social heights, had large salaries, families, everything was good for them. But when God reveals Himself to them, when the sins that tormented them, this man or woman, pass away, it is unforgettable. Even I (I was baptized in adulthood) remember my first confessions. You simply walk away renewed, transformed, resurrected. Birds sing in your soul. That's why I advise everyone not to dwell on this decision. And I repeat to make it clear, the priest isn't in charge here; God is. You need to go and speak to God. Some parishioners, when they confess to me, say, "Lord, God..."—that is, they're not even addressing me.

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On the Harm of "General Confession"

Archpriest Vladimir Vorobyov.

Archpriest Vladimir Vorobyov

So what to do then? How to confess everyone? And all the people are unknown. They came up with General or Communal Confession. The priest reads the prayers, then reads a list of sins: "We have sinned with pride, lust, and avarice," then: "We have sinned with murder, theft, violence, fornication, and adultery," and all the people stand and say, "We have sinned, Father, in everything!" And then the priest says, "Do you repent of all your sins? If any of you have any other sins that I haven't mentioned, you can come and tell me when I read the prayer of absolution. But since I have listed all the sins, it's better to say nothing." Then the priest stands at the lectern and reads the prayer of absolution, covering everyone with the epitrachelion.

I have experienced the “benefits” of such a General Confession myself many times. I ask some old woman: “Have you been to confession long ago?” – “No, Father, recently. Three weeks ago I confessed at General Confession.” – “Good. Do you have any sins?” – “No, Father. What sins do I have? I don’t have any sins, after all, I confess and go to church.” – “But maybe you have forgotten some sins? Well, for example, have you had abortions?” – “Yes, Father, I have.” – “And how many abortions have you had?” – “Twenty.” – “Have you repented of that?” – “No, Father. And how would I do? I stood at the Communal Confession.” She believes that she has no sins. When you “corner” the parishioners: “Yes, Father! "I'm a sinner, Father, in everything!" but there's no real repentance.

That is, this General Confession is a fiction, and completely unacceptable for a priest. In Soviet times, it could be justified by the times, by persecution. But still, it's unacceptable.

Now, when there are so many communicants on a feast day—400, 600, 800, 1,000—it's impossible for everyone to confess, and it's not necessary. I go to Confession and say, "There are so many people today, it's impossible to confess in detail today. Therefore, those who confessed recently, who don't have any serious, unconfessed sins on their conscience, I bless them to receive Communion." Some old women will come; they can't live without the Epitrachelion. I read them the Prayer of Absolution and that's it. "And if you have any sins, stay. If there's time, then we'll talk." If there's no time left, then you won't receive communion. Then you need to choose a more convenient and favorable time—to come and talk, to confess."

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