Venerable Macarius of Optina. "Edifying Teachings" (from letters).
You inform me... that you are now deeply distressed about your former life and even weep and sob. We must weep; true repentance requires weeping, and much weeping; but tears, in a passionate state, should not be trusted as correct.
St. John Climacus in the 7th Step says: do not trust the sources of your tears before complete cleansing from the passions. And again, in the same Step: "When we see anger and pride in those who think they weep for God, then such tears must be considered incorrect, for what communion has light with darkness?" This saint says in the same place that novices have tears for many and varied reasons: from nature, from unjust sorrow, from vanity, from the demon of fornication, and from other causes. He advises examining such tears with the fear of God and purifying them with the memory of our departure from this life, in order to acquire pure and undefiled tears, in which there is no loss due to arrogance, but rather a cleansing, washing clean of sin. Moreover, one must always remember the words of this same saint, spoken by him in the same Step: "Great is the malice of our enemies; they make the mother of virtues the stuff of passions, and turn the self-reproach of humility into a pretext for pride" (V, 447, 757-758).
You write about N. N.'s constant prayer and other matters; one must find out if she has a secret high opinion of herself due to this, and that is why her infirmities are increasing. One must pray to the Lord not to allow to fall into delusion (VI, 57, 92).
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