Question to a Priest. SPAS TV, September 17, 2024
Archpriest Alexander Nikolsky is in the studio.
Viewer question: “I led a vile and dissolute lifestyle, committed many sins with consequences, and I can’t bring myself to confess. It’s scary and disgusting to say this to someone. But I feel that confession is necessary.”
Archpriest Alexander answers:
This, as I understand it, is a woman. You just need to understand that you’re not coming to a priest. You’re coming to God. Not to a priest as God, but to God Himself. And you’re revealing your whole soul to Him. A priest is merely an unworthy witness.
And so many women came to me: escorts, prostitutes, and so on. Bandits – I was a prison chaplain for 16 years. People with a very dissolute lifestyle. And they all said, “How wonderful! How wonderful it is after confession!” Because sins weigh heavily, sins destroy a person from within. And when you’ve taken the right step in this direction—come to God and confess your problems to Him—God surely begins to heal you. This is definitely felt. This is especially felt during the first confessions. After the first confession, after the second, third, fourth—at the very beginning, it’s especially felt, simply by contrast. When a person was sick, and suddenly this strong, aching pain in his soul went away. And you suddenly felt: “yes, a different life.” A different life opens up. And some people say: “I didn’t live before.” People who achieved great social heights, had large salaries, families, everything was good for them. But when God reveals Himself to them, when the sins that tormented them, this man or woman, pass away, it is unforgettable. Even I (I was baptized in adulthood) remember my first confessions. You simply walk away renewed, transformed, resurrected. Birds sing in your soul. That's why I advise everyone not to dwell on this decision. And I repeat to make it clear, the priest isn't in charge here; God is. You need to go and speak to God. Some parishioners, when they confess to me, say, "Lord, God..."—that is, they're not even addressing me.
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