My Grandmother was a Whisperer, and now they've Refused to Hold a Funeral Service for her

Question for a priest.

Archpriest Andrei Efanov

My grandmother died. In life, she was a “whisperer” (sorcerer). The priest didn't hold a funeral service for her and didn't even allow me to buy candles at the church. I go to church, and my children and I attend confession and communion. It pains me greatly that now I can't even submit a commemoration note for her at the church. Are there any prayers that can be read for such people? Is it possible to hold a memorial service?

Answered by Archpriest Andrei Efanov, 2014-06-13

I would distinguish two main types of so-called "whisperers." There are people who cast spells out of superstition. They believe that saying certain words in a certain sequence is enough to trigger a particular desired effect. Often, a person doesn't even intend to appeal to any force, believing that the words themselves have the power. Sometimes even the words of prayer are interpreted as a spell, and people who believe in the magic of words seek "special, powerful prayers" to achieve results. There is even a so-called "prayer of opposition"—a classic spell that, through an oversight, has even found its way into some prayer books. The second type of people who practice spells are classic magicians and sorcerers. These people, to a greater or lesser extent, understand that they are turning to demonic help. Of course, this is a far greater sin than superstition. But a person who foolishly or knowingly practices magic is always outside the Church of Christ. That is why the priest refused to perform the funeral service for your relative. All you can do is pray for her at home with the words of the prayer of St. Leo of Optina: Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it be possible, have mercy. Thy judgments are unfathomable. Do not account this prayer of mine as a sin, but may Thy holy will be done.

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Father Dimitry on how to Get Rid of Vanity

Russian Hour with Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov (October 3, 2005). Radio Radonezh.

Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov (1951 - 21.10.2020)

Listener's question:

How to get rid of vanity?

Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov in the studio:

Nothing could be simpler. For this, there is a technique developed by the ancient Fathers: first, you must get rid of talkativeness. Never initiate a conversation and answer only when asked a direct question and not beyond what is asked. That is, answer as briefly as the question itself was asked. That's the first thing.

Once you've mastered this, you need to move on to another exercise. This is something more serious: you must get to love reproach. That is, the average person is usually a rather proud creature: you can't say anything to them, you can't make a remark to them, you can't correct them—they'll immediately get offended, pout, and sometimes even quarrels break out. The usual response is, "Look who's talking!," and so on. If someone wants to get rid of vanity so seriously—like you, I feel — they need to learn to love being criticized. That is, every time someone points out our shortcomings, or judges us in some way, we need to drink these moments in our lives like nectar. Like cool water—well, not cold, icy, so as not to catch a cold, but cool on a hot day. So, with pleasure. And when you learn this, vanity will completely leave you.

Because vanity is a derivative of pride. And pride takes all such attacks, especially undeserved ones (usually deserved, but sometimes undeserved), very hard. A person is always in a state of self-justification. And when a person is humbled, humiliated, constantly shown their place, it's extremely beneficial. But still, it's precisely in this order that you need to move from one exercise to the next. If you begin with the second, then, of course, nothing will work. First, you need to teach yourself not to push forward, not to assert your "I," not to say "I'm a professor" at every turn, so to speak, but rather to be as modest as possible. The fight against vanity begins with cultivating humility. First, externally, and then it will become internal.

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Fear of the First Confession After a Dissolute Lifestyle

Question to a Priest. SPAS TV, September 17, 2024

Archpriest Alexander Nikolsky

Archpriest Alexander Nikolsky is in the studio.

Viewer question: “I led a vile and dissolute lifestyle, committed many sins with consequences, and I can’t bring myself to confess. It’s scary and disgusting to say this to someone. But I feel that confession is necessary.”

Archpriest Alexander answers:

This, as I understand it, is a woman. You just need to understand that you’re not coming to a priest. You’re coming to God. Not to a priest as God, but to God Himself. And you’re revealing your whole soul to Him. A priest is merely an unworthy witness.

And so many women came to me: escorts, prostitutes, and so on. Bandits – I was a prison chaplain for 16 years. People with a very dissolute lifestyle. And they all said, “How wonderful! How wonderful it is after confession!” Because sins weigh heavily, sins destroy a person from within. And when you’ve taken the right step in this direction—come to God and confess your problems to Him—God surely begins to heal you. This is definitely felt. This is especially felt during the first confessions. After the first confession, after the second, third, fourth—at the very beginning, it’s especially felt, simply by contrast. When a person was sick, and suddenly this strong, aching pain in his soul went away. And you suddenly felt: “yes, a different life.” A different life opens up. And some people say: “I didn’t live before.” People who achieved great social heights, had large salaries, families, everything was good for them. But when God reveals Himself to them, when the sins that tormented them, this man or woman, pass away, it is unforgettable. Even I (I was baptized in adulthood) remember my first confessions. You simply walk away renewed, transformed, resurrected. Birds sing in your soul. That's why I advise everyone not to dwell on this decision. And I repeat to make it clear, the priest isn't in charge here; God is. You need to go and speak to God. Some parishioners, when they confess to me, say, "Lord, God..."—that is, they're not even addressing me.

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Is It Possible To Be Admonished by God During Prayer?

Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov (1951 - 21.10.2020)

Question on air of Radio "Radonezh" to Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov on March 28, 2020.

Question:

I have often noticed that during prayer, deep thoughts about events, people or God come to me. But Ignatius Brianchaninov wrote that demons try to instill in us imaginary spiritual thoughts in such a way. To induce arrogance and vanity. Does it always happen like this, or is it possible to receive some kind of admonition from God during prayer? (19:59)

Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov answers:

Not always. But in 99.9% of cases. Demonic in 99.9%.

Archpriest Alexander Berezovsky:

Because people really say: suddenly the solution to the problem has come. They say, I am standing in the church, and what I have been struggling with for a week seems to have opened up.

Archpriest Dimitry:

Seems to.

Archpriest Alexander:

People perceive that this is an answer from God.

Archpriest Dimitry:

I don't need to be told what people perceive. People generally perceive all sorts of nonsense. From any completely insane person. Who speaks self-confidently, with aplomb, with mockery.

Archpriest Alexander:

The more assertive, the more convincing. Oh, how assertive demons can be! And they will present it so colorfully!

Archpriest Dimitry:

Of course. Therefore, Bishop Ignatius is absolutely right. Not only did he read everything, all the Holy Fathers, he himself was a person with mathematical thinking. All his such characteristics - they are simply impeccable and beautiful in form. A truly brilliant person.

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How to Preach about Christ without Sounding Sectarian

Questions to Archimandrite Raphael (Karelin).

Archimandrite Raphael (Karelin)

[01/29/2006] Andrey asks:

Fr. Raphael! How should an Orthodox person preach the message about Christ, the Church, etc. in the world? Where should you start so that preaching about Christ does not sound sectarian?

Is it necessary to take a special blessing from the priest for this or is it a self-evident duty of every Orthodox person?

Archimandrite Raphael answers:

Andrey! We should talk about Christian teaching to those who ask us, or, in any case, express their interest. To do this, you need to engage in constant self-education. Before such a conversation, you should pray to God in your heart and ask Him to teach you how to give an answer. You should warn that you are not speaking on behalf of the Church, but to the best of your knowledge, and if your answer does not satisfy your interlocutor, then he can turn to other, more competent people. If the conversation turns into confrontation and argument, then it is better to stop it. If you find it difficult to answer a question, then you need to say directly that you will think about it and then, at the next meeting, give an answer. I think that a special blessing is not required because the Apostle Paul writes that a Christian must give an answer of a reason of the hope that is in him. We need to beware of the sectarian practice of forcing a conversation about Christianity on people who are not inclined to do so. The most effective sermon is preaching not with words, but with the example of your life, which attracts the hearts of people. For more specific questions, you should consult with the priest to whom you confess and from whom you receive communion. God bless you.

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On the Desire to Develop Supernatural Gifts in oneself

Question to the priest.

Hegumen Nektary (Morozov)

Why does the church not welcome the presence and development of paranormal abilities in a person (prediction, clairvoyance, etc.)?

Hegumen Nektary (Morozov), rector of the Bishops' Church of the icon of the Mother of God "Satisfy my Sorrows" answers.

Saints of the Orthodox Church performed many amazing miracles, including seeing the future, healing incurable ailments, and resurrecting the dead. But all these miracles were not the work of their hands, a manifestation of their "abilities", but were performed by the action of power, the grace of God, of which the saints were living vessels. The grace of God is not something that can be "developed" in oneself. This is a divine gift given to a person who zealously fulfils Christ's commandments, tirelessly striving to please God, to purify himself from all filthiness, from all passions. However, gifts of grace are by no means a goal, but only a consequence. Many saints of God, having been honored with the gift of miracles, prayed that the Lord would take away this gift from them, because they knew how easy it is to become haughty and fall away from God out of pride.

When a person strives to "develop abilities in himself", then it is quite obvious that he is on a dangerous path. On the dangerous, because in this case these abilities can really be given to him, but not by God (since a person has not reached the measure of saints and has not “deserved” it), but by a serpent who promised our forefathers in paradise that they would be like gods ( Gen. 3:5) and then deprived them of paradise itself.

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The Woman Began to Read Exorcism Prayers

Hegumen Daniel (Gridchenko)

Question to the priest.

October 19, 2018

Asks: Elena

City: Moscow

Question about my mother. We all (her relatives) feel that she is possessed. My worst sin is that I cannot forgive her in any way for what she has done. I have an old prayer book, in which there is an exorcism of the soul from the dark forces. I sit and say this prayer every night. But the candles crackle, smoke, and I begin to hiccup, which does not allow me to continue the prayer. What should I do? I want to save my mother's soul, but I can't. She does not want to go to the church. God bless.

Answer: Hegumen Daniel (Gridchenko)

Hello, Elena! Before you help your mom, you need to help yourself. First, forgive her, no matter how guilty she is before you. And secondly, if you don’t want to really go out of your mind, stop reading exorcism prayers, which are hardly recommended for every priest to read. Pray with ordinary prayers from an ordinary prayer book. Receive Holy Unction, confess, take communion... Try to do this regularly. And be humble in your spiritual claims. Otherwise, the enemy of the human race will simply trample you. May God enlighten you!

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How to Tell if a Monk or a Priest Has the Gift of Healing

Hegumen Daniel (Gridchenko)

Questions to a priest.

Question: Anastasia

Hello. Bless me, Father. They say that epilepsy is treated only spiritually, not with medicines. Does this apply to all diseases or only to epilepsy? And how to tell if a monk or a priest has the gift of healing? Thank you.

Answer: Hegumen Daniel (Gridchenko)

Hello Anastasia, Some things we are told are not true. And it is advisable to be treated not by some mythical healers and miracle workers, but by ordinary good, and honest doctors. Generally speaking, if a priest or monk advertises his extraordinary healing or other abilities, he is a classic scoundrel, either pursuing his own self-interests or being inflated by an exorbitant sense of his own importance, and that might be even worse. God's true servants are humble people who carefully conceal their gifts of grace, who only manifest them through love, prayer, and in such a way that those who receive help from them do not always immediately realize it.

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Woman Thinking that Healing and Biolocation Come from God

Question to a priest.

Hegumen Daniel (Gridchenko)

Question: Anastasia

Hello dear Father,

I have a question that has been bothering me for a very long time: my mother believes that a person can be healed by biolocation, that besides the physical body, a person has other bodies (like the halo of saints, where one can see them), and that if there is a hole in the body, it can be "patched up" and thus heal the person. A book she reads (or rather, has read before) was written by a certain woman who was a mathematician and designed spaceships, she was a Christian, and somehow calculated it all with mathematics, as I have understood it. A pendulum is also used in this system, I don't know if I should call it a science. She used to practice it for a while, then she gave it up (thank God!). The woman who wrote the book left behind her disciples; I think there is even an institute for self-knowledge in Russia that deals with these matters. My mother believes that all this knowledge is given to us by God, and that she thanks Him for His help. I don't know what stimulated her interest, but one day her child (that is me) stopped talking as a result of a strong fright (it happened, as I now reflect at my current age, out of sheer foolishness, to be honest). When she tried everything, and nothing worked, with the help of her friends she found a man who could help her. After a while it helped and the child started talking, but she got hooked on it and became interested. She is a very religious person and believes that all this knowledge only comes from God (we go to church, but not that often, we don't go to confession, but we always ask God's forgiveness and pray and try not to do anything wrong). However, the fact that, for example, when she has inflammation of a gland of her eyelid and immediately takes out a book and reads a "prayer" to "an old man the witch doctor," should be added to this, and also her belief that old women who heal all kinds of diseases are also Christians.

A Woman Turned to a Clairvoyant for Advice

Hegumen Nektariy (Morozov)

Question to the priest.

This spring, on the advice of a friend, I turned to a clairvoyant woman. My mental balance was disturbed by the situation at work and life's troubles. This woman is a deeply religious person, but she is a Muslim. She helped me a lot. She began all her sessions with a prayer and asked me to read the Lord's Prayer. She didn’t take any money for the treatment, and answered my requests for help in my affairs: “Ask God.” Is that a sin that I turned to her?

Hegumen Nektariy (Morozov), rector of the Bishops' Church of the icon of the Mother of God "Satisfy my Sorrows" answers.

Don’t you yourself feel the “spiritual illogicality” of what you write about? Aren’t you surprised by the recommendation given by a "deeply believing Muslim woman" to read the Lord's Prayer? Such internal inconsistency is typical for people involved in extrasensory activities, magic, divination and trying to “reconcile” all this with religion. And it serves as an evidence of the delusion in which these people are. The woman whom you visited is also among such misguided ones. It is possible that she really does not have material self-interest, however, without a doubt, there is self-interest of a different order - spiritual. The basis for such a practice is the opinion of oneself as a person of a special kind, pride, leading to that state, which in Orthodox asceticism is called delusion (that is, self-deception that has reached a certain highest degree). A believing person is called a believer because he trusts God, His Providence, and does not boldly seek to penetrate the mystery of the Divine plan for the world and people, does not tempt his Creator in this way. The Lord has revealed and is revealing His will to the righteous, whose life is devoted to serving Him, whose heart has been cleansed of passions through a cruel long-term struggle with them. But He reveals it when He wants. The search for such revelations with force, especially inviting other people to oneself with the promise to "achieve" such a revelation has always been considered sinful, based on pride and "deception" about oneself.

Is it also sinful that you turned to a person engaged in this practice for advice? Certainly yes. You were looking for the truth outside the Church, you were looking for it from a person with a very complex confessional “synthesis”, from a person who, consciously or unconsciously, is in communication with a dark force that is contrary to God. And please try to hear: you must definitely come to an Orthodox church, tell about this situation in confession, repent, so that the terrible power that you yourself let into your life with this recourse does not show very soon the power it has received over you. Tell the priest about the troubles that led you to the "clairvoyant" woman, ask him to explain how to deal with them and your whole life in a Christian way, which, most likely, will save you from many troubles forever.

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The Reason of the Cooling of Faith in God May Be the Lack of Real Repentance for Some Sin

Questions to a priest on the Spas TV channel.

Protopriest Alexander Nikolsky.

A woman, let’s suppose, comes up to me, and says: now I haven’t taken Communion for a year already. I say: why? She says: I don’t know. I say: what sin did you commit a year ago? “I betrayed my husband, (well, for example), but I repented of it.” “What does it mean you have repented?” – “Well, I said about it in the Confession.” “Do you consider yourself wrong that you cheated on your husband?” – “No, you know, father, this betrayal has given me a lot”. I say: “What did it give you?” – “Well, such a spiritual, moral development, something else, something else. It’s even hard for me to consider this a sin.” “That's why you don’t go to the church.” The only thing that separates us from God is sin. Sin separates us from God. And when a person formally mentioned his sin in Confession - well, some, I mentioned one for example, maybe the other one, but he didn’t repent of it heartily with the contrition of the heart, he didn’t reject it internally, he kept the form of repentance, but there was no repentance, - this led him inevitably to cooling. Therefore, you just need to find out what sin lies at the basis of this cooling, or maybe it is a mortal sin, or maybe it is like when I said that football is more interesting than the Liturgy, and begin to repent of this sin, struggle, and force yourself to do the opposite.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/794-the-reason-of-the-cooling-of-faith-in-god-may-be-the-lack-of-real-repentance-for-some-sin

Shame to Confess Sins (Questions to a Priest)

Question to a priest

February 11, 2013

Hello! The situation is such that I committed one sin. I repent of it, but I can’t confess to the priest - I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I can’t tell him that. Before God, I repented of everything long ago. Is it necessary to confess to the priest?

Katia

Katia, it is a must to confess to the priest. Sin is destroyed, it loses its strength only when we expose (reveal) it. The devil is afraid when he is exposed, when his deeds are revealed, and he runs away. You feel false shame – you should be ashamed to sin. Until sin is revealed in confession, it is not forgiven, and this sin will be with you until you repent in it during the confession to the priest.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

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March 29, 2013

Hello, Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)! Thank you very much for your advice! I have one more question. But what if, during confession, you cannot confess of some sin? If you are ashamed, scary and uncomfortable talking about it? I very much repent of my sins and dream of confessing. But I’m scared, I don’t know why. Please tell me what is to be done. Thank you.

Marina

Marina, you need to imagine that you are standing before God Himself, who has known everything for a long time already, He knows everything. And now, just like a father in front of a child, He is already ready to forgive and not punish, waiting for acknowledgment - please forgive me, yes, it was I who did it.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)