Hegumen Nikon (Vorobiev). "How to live today. Letters on the spiritual life".
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1949
Peace to you, worthy mother Mary!
I have received your letter. You recognize yourself wrong in many ways. I am glad about that. A person who stubbornly justifies himself and blames others is on the wrong track: he will either fail to make any success in spiritual life, or he will inevitably fall into the nets of delusion. Our salvation is not in feats, but in the consciousness, deep, sincere, heartfelt consciousness of our sinfulness, corruption, powerlessness to improve ourselves. This consciousness will result in contrition, crying and some humility, etc.
If there is no such consciousness, and moreover (God save us!), there is self-justification – then all the attempts will be in vain and even arrogance and pride will arise. So, in small and big things, in everyday and spiritual affairs, with yourself and in relations with other people, try to put yourself in the lowest place (according to the Gospel: do not sit in the highest place) - and then you will receive peace for your soul and everything described above, and with them or through them, you will get salvation.
My regards and blessings of God to you, Katya and to everyone you know.
Forgive me for offending you and the rest. Ours give their regards to you. God will forgive you for everything, and I forgive you.
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http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/how-to-avoid-or-get-rid-of-spiritual-delusion/783-about-self-justification-as-a-cause-of-delusion
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