How to Confess?

Bishop Panteleimon (Shatov), Chairman of the Synodal Department of Church Charity and Social Service.

Bishop Panteleimon (Shatov)

At confession, you need to repent, listing your sins. Sometimes, coming to confession, people begin to tell something like the following: “I came home yesterday, my husband met me, he, as always, was drunk, I reproved him and he began to shout at me, I got angry and hit him in his face. I, of course, did the wrong thing. But what could I do?..” This is not a confession. The confession should be a repentance, and not a story about your life, and, moreover, with an attempt to justify your sins.

Although there are people who, by their simplicity, do not know how to repent in any other way. And, of course, their confessor will accept their confession in this form, but nevertheless it would be more correct to say this: “I am angry, I am very irritable; when my husband misbehaved, I got angry, hit him in the face. I am very sorry about this, I repent. I asked him for forgiveness and I promise God that I will never do this again.” This is how, it seems to me, the correct confession will sound.

Often people write a lot in their notes, they tell too much about something, it is not entirely correct. There is an opposite thing, also wrong, when a person simply lists his sins in separate words: “I sinned with vanity, despondency, irritation ...” “I broke my fast, I had bad thoughts,” the children say “I misbehaved...” What does “vanity” mean? What does irritation mean? What do bad thoughts mean? What do you mean saying “misbehaved”? We should not speak in general terms about the passion that works in you, it works in everyone, but about how this passion manifests itself in you. For example, it would be more correct to say not “I was annoyed with my daughter,” but “I humiliated my daughter, called her with bad words, hit her ...” Or, for example, pride... How does it manifest itself, your pride? You humiliate other people, look down on everyone, you are rude to someone, wanting to humiliate him? That is, confession should not be a detailed story of all the circumstances of a particular case, but should be repentance for specific sins, but, on the other hand, these sins should not be designated by one word.

A Monk Took Communion without Reconciliation

Blessed John Moschus. "The Spiritual Meadow".

The life of abbot Isaac, and how a demon also appeared to him in the shape of a young man.

There is a mountain about six miles distant from Lycos, a city of the Thebaid, where some of the monks live in caves, others in cells. We went there and met abba Isaac, a Theban, who told us the following:

Fifty years ago I was making a mosquito net when I made a mistake in my work and I could not find out where it was, let alone repair it. I spent the whole day utterly defeated, unable to discover what I had done wrong. I was almost in despair, when I saw a young man come in through the window.

"You've made a mistake," he said, "but give me your work and I will put it right."
"Get out," I said. "You'll not get me to do that."
"But you will be damned if you do your work badly"
"No call for you to worry about that."
"But I am just sorry for you because your work is lost."
"Both you and he who sent you have come here with evil intent."
"No, it is you have drawn me here, and you are mine."
"What do you mean?
"For the last three Sundays you have communicated while harbouring uncharitable thoughts towards your neighbour."
"You're lying"
"I'm not lying. You are angry with him because he is so slow (propter lenticulam). And I am the one in charge of anger and the memory of insults. So, therefore, you are mine."

At this, I left my cell immediately, went to my brother, prostrated myself before him and begged his forgiveness, whereupon we were reconciled. When I returned to my cell I found that the demon had destroyed the mosquito net completely and also the rush mat on which I prayed, so envious of our charity had he become.

http://www.vitae-patrum.org.uk/page154.html

Noetic Prayer Is Incompatible with Concealment of Thoughts

Elder Joseph the Hesychast. "Monastic Wisdom". From Letter 55.

Elder Joseph the Hesychast

Heart prayer is not susceptible to delusion, unless one is passionate and already deluded.  With heart prayer, as soon as the nous enters the heart, immediately its darkness is cleared and straightaway it becomes peaceful and calm.  It rejoices, is sweetened, rests, and is cleansed.  It rejoices and becomes like a small child free from passions.  Bodily members which used to tempt him become peaceful and humble, just like the hand, the nose, and the rest of the members of the body.

 

Therefore, whoever wants to, let him taste this honey, and it will become a fountain of joy and happiness within him, unless one is cunning, hypocritical, envious, miserly, sensual, vainglorious, or in general passionate; if one wants to say the prayer while voluntarily remaining with his passions, unrepentant, incorrigible.  Such a person obviously disdains the action of the prayer and the mercy of the Lord.  The prayer helps everyone, but each person must struggle in accordance with his own strength.  God gives His grace according to one’s intention.  If anyone says the prayer without repenting, either the prayer will cease, or he will fall into delusion.

 

Women in particular make progress in the prayer more easily because of the self-denial and obedience they have to their spiritual guide.  However, the faster they make progress, the more easily they fall into delusion, if they proceed thoughtlessly without caution.

 

It is not just a matter of saying the prayer, but it is also a matter of being attentive.  You must be vigilant with your thoughts, masterfully controlling them.  Otherwise, they will take control of you and in the end you will become the laughing-stock of the demons.  I have never seen a soul make progress in the prayer without frankly confessing secret thoughts.

 

My child, do you want to crush the head of the serpent?  Openly reveal your thoughts in confession.  The strength of the Devil lies in cunning thoughts.  Do you hold on to them?  He remains hidden.  Do you bring them to the light?  He disappears.  And then Christ rejoices, the prayer progresses, and the light of grace heals and brings peace to your nous and heart.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/309-noetic-prayer-is-incompatible-with-concealment-of-thoughts

Fear During Divine Service Because of Unconfessed Sins

The Letters of Saint Ambrose of Optina.

Saint Ambrose of Optina

I have received your letter dated 30 September. You write about yourself in this way: "For more than two years I have been ill with an unknown illness which doctors can not understand. The disease is such that I have more fear, especially reciting the Divine Liturgy, and also the constant melancholy, and pensiveness, and anguish. Though it is inconvenient to resolve this kind of confusion and disease without seeing you, but considering melancholy and fear you experience, I think that the beginning and the first cause of your disease were your childhood sins that probably you could not confess properly or were ashamed to do it; but you should had done it especially before your deacon ordination. The second cause may be that you haven’t always kept your conscience clear combining deacon ministry with married life, because a person ordained into this service is required a particular keeping of conscience, which is not infrequently prevented by either excessive use of strong drinks or intemperance with respect to irritation and anger. Each of these weaknesses alone has the power to bring great harm to the soul, especially if they are combined at the same time.

The same condition and state happens when a man despite his weaknesses and failures does not humble himself, but becomes arrogant and abases others. I think that in your sickness, first of all, you need to strive for release from aggravating anguish and fear. And you can achieve this, first, if you can find in your region such a confessor to whom with full faith and perfect sincerity you could humbly confess everything that lied heavy on your conscience from six years to this day; and secondly - if you firmly decide not to return to such actions that cause fear and anguish, as the Lord Himself said in the Gospel to the sinner, “go, and sin no more” (Jn 8: 11). If you do so and from now on you are determined to keep yourself and your conscience, then we can hope that you will not only get rid of the grief and fear aggravating you, but you can get such a relief in your bodily disease, with God’s grace and help, that will be useful for you, by the will of Lord, All-good, All-knowing, Almighty and having the providence of salvation for everyone.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/304-fear-during-divine-service-because-of-unconfessed-sins

The Tactics of the Devil – Either Belittling or Increasing the Severity of a Sin

Saint Barsanuphius of Optina.

Do you know the Devil's tactics? You really need to know it. When the Devil knows that some man has a sin more or less serious, he tries to prevent him from repentance. To this end, he belittles the severity of the sin in any way, suggesting the following thoughts: "It does not matter, God will forgive this to you" - and so on. And the demon even tries to make a man forget about this sin. But when this man manages to confess the sin to his spiritual father in the confession, the Devil in every way increases the severity of sin, suggesting that this sin is so great that God will never forgive it. And he tries to bring a person into depression and despair. You see how cunning the enemy is. He knows that the sins are washed away in the confession, and therefore he does not admit people to confession, and if a man confesses, the enemy embarrasses him in every way.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/344-the-tactics-of-the-devil-either-belittling-or-increasing-the-severity-of-a-sin

Nothing So Harms a Monk As Hiding His Thoughts from His Spiritual Father

Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos. "Orthodox psychotherapy."

Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos

An effective method of getting rid of thoughts is to confess them to an experienced spiritual father. St. John Cassian says that "just as a snake which is brought from its dark hole into the light makes every effort to escape and hide itself, so the malicious thoughts that a person brings out into the open by sincere confession seek to depart from him" (487). Nothing so harms a monk and brings such joy to the demons as hiding his thoughts from his spiritual father (488). In this way his whole spiritual life is twisted and he becomes a plaything in the hands of the devil, who can do what he likes with him. Therefore St. John Cassian teaches that nothing leads so surely to salvation as confessing our private thoughts to the most discriminating of the fathers and being guided by them rather than by our own thoughts and judgement (489). "He who conceals his thoughts remains unhealed" (490). Therefore we must confess the persistent thought, bring it to our spiritual father who has responsibility for our salvation. "Any thought that tarries in you and engages you in warfare, reveal to your Abba, and he, with God's help, will heal you" (491). When we speak of a persistent thought we mean one that does not go away in spite of our objection, scorn, and prayer, but continues to wage war against us, like the impassioned thought which is united with the passion. 

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/334-nothing-so-harms-a-monk-as-hiding-his-thoughts-from-his-spiritual-father

The Elder Reveals Concealed Sins

Episode from the life of Saint Barsanuphius of Optina.

Saint Barsanuphius of Optina

Here are the astounding memoirs about confession to the elder left by his spiritual daughter:
- We reached the skete, the Devil in every way distracted me and suggested to leave, but having crossed myself, I firmly entered the hut ... I made a sign of the cross before the icon of the Queen of Heaven and froze.
The Father entered, I was standing in the middle of his cell ... The Father came up to the Tikhvin icon of God’s Mother and sat ...
- Come closer.
I timidly approached him.
- Kneel down, my child ... It is accepted here that we sit and confessants stand on the knees near us because of humility.
I dropped down, not just kneeled... The Father took me by both shoulders, looked at me infinitely kindly, as no one has ever looked, and said:
- My dear child, my sweet child, my precious child! Are you twenty-six?
- Yes, Father.
- You are twenty-six, how many years were you fourteen years ago?
I thought a moment and answered:
- Twelve.
- True, and since that year you have begun concealing sins at the confession.

Do you want me to tell you them?

- Tell, Father, - I replied timidly.
And then the Farther began to name my sins for the previous years and even months as if he was reading them from an open book...

What Happens if a Priest Has a Mortal Sin and Serves Liturgy

Bishop Palladius. "The Lausiac History".

Chapter XVIII.  Macarius of Alexandria

Once I visited this holy Macarius and found a village priest lying just outside his cell, whose head was all eaten away by the disease called cancer, and the actual bone appeared on the crown of his head. He had come to be healed and Macarius would not grant him an interview. So I besought him: "I pray you, pity him and give him his answer." And he said to me: "He does not deserve to be healed, for it has been sent him as a punishment. But if you want him to be healed, persuade him to give up taking services. For he was taking services, though living in fornication, and for this reason he is being punished and God is healing his soul." So when I said this to the afflicted man he consented, and swore that he would no longer exercise his priesthood. Then he received him and said: "Do you believe that God is?" He said to him: "Yes." "Were you able to mock God?" "No," he answered. He said: "If you recognize your sin and the chastening of God, on account of which you suffered this, reform yourself henceforward." So he confessed his fault and gave a promise that he would sin no more nor take the service, but embrace the position of a layman. Then he laid his hands on him and in a few days he was cured and the hair grew and he went away healed.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/300-what-happens-if-a-priest-has-a-mortal-sin-and-serves-liturgy

Fight with Sensual Thoughts Because of Unconfessed Sins

The Letters of Saint Ambrose of Optina.

You are bothered with inappropriate fleshly lusts. When you should have a spiritual benefit, the Devil tries to tempt you. Despise it, because such suggestion from the enemy is an absurdity of absurdities. You write that it seems to you that someone is standing beside you during this struggle. Such things happen when a person either forgot some important sin at the confession, or did not manage to confess something as it should.

Pray to the Heavenly Queen and Guardian Angel asking their help to recall and confess sins. Then, the present dream will pass. Also you should be humble before God and men, considering yourself the worst of people.

I find it inappropriate for you to go to Moscow for the medical treatment because of the fleshly lusts. It will intensify the struggle ... It is better to suffer pain from the disease to cleanse your sins. It is more correct.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/308-fight-with-sensual-thoughts-because-of-unconfessed-sins

Blasphemous Thoughts Disappeared Only after Confession

Hegumen Mark (Lozinski). "Patericon of the preacher".

A novice got rid of the thoughts of blasphemy and disbelief only after a confession to the elder.

The former abbot of the Holy Trinity-St. Sergius Lavra, archimandrite Kronid, has told about himself the following: "In the Lavra, I was taken under the spiritual guidance of the elder, father Nicodemus, a man simple in heart but wise in his soul, very kind, and I made friends with him spiritually. Such a life, apparently, was not much liked by the enemy of our salvation. He attacked me with such a terrible rage, he confused me with thoughts of blasphemy against God and unbelief that my mind was almost clouded. Then the Lent of 1878 began. In the Clean Monday I went to matins in the refectory church, rejoicing that the Lord has vouchsafed me to live on till these great days and to fast in repentance. Here I fixed my gaze on the local icon of the Savior in the prayer to Him for help in the salvation. Suddenly, a thought of unbelief and blasphemy against Christ the Savior as a lightning flashed in my mind. That made me so scared that I was like deadened. At the same time I felt like a spark of the hellfire ran all over my body, and my heart was filled with deadly boredom. Then, fearing and trembling, I turned my gaze to the icon of the Mother of God, praying to protect me from the terrible and pernicious thoughts. But to my horror, I noticed that the thoughts of blasphemy against God and against the Mother of God rose in me even stronger. Then I turned to Saint Sergius in the prayer. But a bad mental abuse with terrible power fell upon him too. Then the words of abuse, unbelief and blasphemy poured out in my mind in an irresistible flow on all holy and, terrible to say, even on the Holy of Holies, that is, the Holy Mysteries. Because of excruciating anguish I deadened and went out of my mind with worry. My emotional torment was so great that my face changed completely in five days. Archimandrite Leonid once drew attention to me and asked, "Constantine! What’s wrong with you? I do not recognize you!” I answered him that I was feeling unwell. Friday came, but the thoughts still continued. I was going to confess to my spiritual father, and the thoughts told me: "Will you really tell your confessor all harmful, blasphemous thoughts?" I took the mental advice and said nothing about the thoughts at the confession. But coming out from the cell of the confessor I felt such heavy anguish that I could not restrain my sobs because of the terrible inner commotion and crying like a child I fell on the sofa which stood near the door. The confessor was confused and asked me: "Kostya, what's wrong?" I told him: "Father! I am ruined! "-" How can you be ruined? "Then I told him my mental thoughts tormenting me all week from the Clean Monday. Listening to me, the spiritual father asked, "Do you console yourself with these thoughts?" I told him: "I do not console myself, farther, but I suffer indescribably." Then the confessor led me to the cross and the Gospel again, read the prayer of absolution anew and dismissed me. After that, my heart was so easy that I did not go from the confessor but flew on wings of joy. All scary thoughts vanished, and I, a sinner, could proceed calmly to the Holy Chalice. " (Trinity monastery letters from the spiritual meadow. P. 43.)

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/307-blasphemous-thoughts-disappeared-only-after-confession

The Bodies of Sinners May Remain Non-decomposed Because of Unrepentant Sins

The Letters of Saint Ambrose of Optina.

In one letter you mentioned that you had a discussion with NN about relics and some bodies of the sinners, not having rotten after death. Indeed, now at Athos, there are no relics, as they say, by the following circumstance.

One pious elder lived there in stillness and solitude and always taught his disciple to keep still and solitary life. Upon the death of the elder in a year, according to the custom of Athos, monks dug up the grave and found the head of the elder, exuding fragrant and healing myrrh. Many people came to worship this head and anointed themselves with the healing myrrh, and so disturbed the solitude of the disciple. Therefore he said reproachfully to the deceased elder: "Father, in your lifetime you always schooled me to stillness and solitude, but after your death you break it."

After these words, fragrant and healing myrrh dried up, and there was only plain bone, and people stopped coming to worship it. And they said that thereafter monks found in the graves just bones, yellow, or white, or black ones, which helped them to distinguish states of the deceased souls; or they found bodies, non-decomposed and dark.

All brethren prayed about such souls for three years, each year digging up the grave and asking local bishops to read the prayer of absolution. Some of the bodies remain non-decomposed after three years.  So they are left as they are.

The reason is supposed to be the following: God forgives sins against God for prayers of others, especially for prayers of the church and for commemoration at the Bloodless Sacrifice, or for the alms given for those dead; while God does not forgive sins against a neighbor - an insult and unfair deeds- until the insulter or offender satisfy the hurt in time or reconcile himself with the neighbor requesting the forgiveness. (In monasticism such cases may happen for self-will and disobedience to the admonitions of Fathers and the commandments, for the lack of repentance and concealment of sins.) In the forties, or before, the Turks looted Bessarabia. The Russian government demanded satisfaction from the Turkish; the robbed inhabitants were ordered to demonstrate their damages. Those who showed the losses unfairly and doubled and trebled them, had their bodies non-decomposed and dark after death.

In Russia there are many relics of saints: Saint Sergius of Radonezh, Saint Bishops Mitrophan of Voronezh, Tikhon of Zadonsk, Dimitri of Rostov and others which testify about their sanctity with the miracles.

Sinful bodies can also be non-decomposed. One day a body of the hierodeacon, non-decomposed and dark, was accidentally found in the monastery.

At that time a local bishop went to the diocese. The bishop was asked to read the prayer of absolution over this body. But after the prayer, the body remained in the same state. The bishop asked them who he was and what was the cause of this situation. The reply was that he was the only son of a poor widow and he retired to the monastery against his mother’s will, and his mother always complained at him due to poverty, and someone said that his mother was still alive. The bishop ordered to find his mother. They brought in a ninety-year old woman, who was bent. The bishop, pointing to the state of her son, asked her to forgive him. But the old woman, turning away, disagreed and said: "I have endured so much grief due to him!"

The bishop continued to persuade the old woman, and finally said: "If you do not forgive him, you will be bound yourself". The old woman, having been convinced, said, as it were unwillingly: "Well, God will forgive him!" The dark body crumbled to dust immediately.

Here is my humble discourse in response to your discussion. I am writing this in a great lack of time, and rubbing myself with simple alcohol because every morning I get up with difficulty and exhaustion, feeling freezing.

http://oprelesti.ru/index.php/concealment-of-sins-in-confession/306-the-bodies-of-sinners-may-remain-non-decomposed-because-of-unrepentant-sins

On Concealment of Sins Metropolitan Anthony (Krapovitsky)

Metropolitan Anthony (Krapovitsky). "Confession".

8. Fear of Admitting a Sin.

Metropolitan Anthony (Krapovitsky)

Several spiritual fathers in monasteries have disclosed to me that God has helped them obtain from penitents the admission of sins which they could not bring themselves to confess at previous confessions over the course of ten or twenty years. This had tormented them for their whole lives and they already considered themselves doomed for eternity, knowing that the Church says, “If thou hidest anything from me, thou hast a greater sin; take heed therefore, lest, having come to a physician, thou depart unhealed.” These sins may be very shameful and impure, unnatural sins against the seventh commandment, such as incest, bestiality or corruption of children; all these happen extremely often, and sometimes with people who are respected by those around them. On the other hand, they may be criminal offences: murder, infanticide, theft, robbery, attempted poisoning, malicious slander out of jealousy or envy, inspiring hatred against one’s neighbor, incitement of others against the Church and faith, and so on. If the priest directly poses a question about such a sin, the penitent will probably not deny it, but he cannot bring himself to tell of his offence voluntarily.

However, it is impossible to question each person about such abominable sins. After finishing the usual questions, you should ask in a quiet, gentle voice, “Perhaps there is some sin which you are ashamed to confess? Perhaps there is something which you could not resolve to say about your sins at earlier confessions, or forgot, and then remembered and did not dare to tell the priest?” It is extremely possible that the parishioner will answer affirmatively, but will still hesitate to say what exactly it was.