Letters of Valaam elder John (Alexeev)
15.11.1954
New Valamo
Letter 118
Honoured in Christ N.
I have received your letter, and you are rebuking me for having vainglory, saying that I write letters because of my vainglory.
I am very surprised myself why I started corresponding merely by chance with different people. Certainly, the reason is that I am a priest and a spiritual advisor. Some of my spiritual children asked me different questions, and I, in my madness, answered their questions, saying what I had in my heart; I never had an idea to publish my letters. There were some people asking me for my agreement to publish my letters and I agreed with their proposal. I said: ‘If you have found something useful, God bless you, you may collect my letters. I gave them the addresses of my correspondence.’
I cannot say that I have no vainglory. This is a sophisticated passion, mixing with every virtue, attacking even Saints, sticking even on them. However, they are so afraid of this impudent passion that consider it as spraying tar on white clothes.
This insane passion can be noticed only in case of very attentive spiritual life. If one guards one’s heart with prayer, he will see the vainglory thought attacking his heart. O insane vainglory, you like to show off your works so much! Sometimes you work even more to make people see them and praise you. The work of a vainglorious man are in vain: fasting, prostrations and other bodily works, because he is doing than for his one glory. However, Our Lord commands to do everything in secret, and rebukes the Pharisees for their vainglorious behaviour.
